Did Your Parents Want a Boy?

When I was a little girl, I hated my name. Roll call on the first day of school was embarrassing. Teachers stuttered and kids stared. I was shy and didn't like the attention.

I would always come home and ask my mom and dad why they gave me a boy's name. The answer was always the same. "We liked it and had a different name picked out if you were a boy. Don't worry. It will build character." 

It never made me feel better, and I would dream of having a normal name like Jen, Whitney or Katy. Unlike today, in the 70's and 80's it was a cultural stretch to be a girl named Stevyn.

But, I learned to deal with it and to even find humor in the struggle. When I turned 18, the government called to make sure I was enrolled in the draft. When I got into business, people were shocked when a woman walked in.

The most common question I've been asked my whole life is, "Did your parents want a boy?" I would tell them the same thing my parents told me...my parents liked Stevyn for a girl and had a different name picked out for a boy. Over time, my life's theme song became "The Boy Named Sue" by Johnny Cash.

Then my answer changed. A couple of years ago I learned more about the origin of my name. We were at my dad's 70th birthday party when someone came up and asked me a familiar question, "Did your parents want a boy?" My dad was standing right there, so I laughed and suggested that we get the answer from the source. 

To my amazement, I heard my dad tell a story that I had never heard before. It went something like this.

While my mom was pregnant with me he was trying to make ends meet by selling insurance door-to-door. He knocked on one door, and a black woman answered. After talking to her briefly, he learned that she was a single working mother putting herself through college.

​He was impressed that she was working hard under very difficult circumstances to improve her life. The next words he said are seared in my mind. "She had grit and a winsome personality. Her name was Stevyn."

Mic drop. 

I was floored. I had never heard this before in my 40+ years on this planet. 

So, I'm named after a strong, determined woman with a winsome personality. Whoever she is, hats off to her for making such an impression on my dad and for giving him the idea for my name.

I think my parents were right. My name did play a vital role in who I am today. I'm all grown up, now, and no longer hate my name. I haven't for a long time. It's who I am.

I'm the girl named Stevyn.

*pronounced stee-ven

About the author

I'm Stevyn - a financial advisor's daughter who became an exercise physiologist and certified wellness coach. As a Wellth Advisor, I explore health as a form of wealth.